Friday, 13 August 2010

When The Postman Knocked Twice

OK, it's not so bad but I had a dispiriting day.  My new all-singing all-adjusting ergonomic office chair finally arrived, in pieces with no instructions, which brought my other half out in hives.  " I hate these sodding things, they always effing say they're easy and they never effing are."  Followed by the IKEA flat-pack rant. The situation did look menacing but once we'd calmed down, it was easy. A piece of cake. So I sit on it, apply my tortoiseshell specs, smooth my skirt, thrust the bust and .. realise they've sent me the wrong flaming chair.  My work surface is draughtsman's height and I know I ordered the tall version. Instead of feeling like that secretary in Mad Men, I'm like an old lady driving a rather large motor car. When I press a lever, I'm a child driving a motor car.  That's crap isn't it?

But cheer is on its way because a parcel lands on the doormat.  I've waited a long time for it to arrive from The USA courtesy of a firm called Alibris via Amazon.  Recommended by Peak of Chic, it's 'Only the Best: a Celebration of Gift Giving in America'. . Except it's not.   It's just what I've always wanted:

I trust I can be justified in saying that's crap too.

Image top by Magda Archer for POLITE cards here


  1. That's the book they used to prep Bush for his debates. You can't really accuse his handlers of overreach.

  2. Thanks for the laugh this morning, at your expense! I know exactly how you feel. I had wifi installed on Wednesday (evening), and have practically been fiddling with it ever since, as it seems very temperamental. The internet company are sending someone today. Apparently. Another day of waiting in. Oh joy.

  3. Too much!! I hope things look up soon!!

    Come and enter my Latest Giveaway!!

    Art by Karena

  4. rurritable, you always manage to salvage something from a wreck, thank you.

    columnist, I share your wifi pain! My router/hub thingy is downstairs and round the corner from my new study and we have thick walls so it is currently flashing away on my console tablescape, the only place the wire will reach that I can get a 90 per cent signal. There's supposed to be a solution ?

    Karena, thank you. I will pop round and have a look.

  5. There's only one way to deal with life's frustrations~laugh at them outright!
    It rather reminds me of Noel Coward who'd quote from one of his plays
    whenever some trivial problem arose. "Life has dealt me another blow, but I don't mind." This spoken meekly and resignedly. To which the recipient replies: "What's that you said?"
    NC (with mounting irritation):
    "I SAID that life had dealt me another blow, and that I didn't MIND!!"

    Guess you had to be there. It's from Hay Fever by the way.

  6. Mr Worthington, I shall use Noel Coward's stoic reply instead of framing my problems in lower deck language as I tend to.

  7. Dear Rose, I totally sympathise. I have only set foot in an Ikea twice in my life. Both times The Actor and I have argued. Never again. I can't bear the place. I'm sticking with my old junk shop finds. And don't even get me started on flatpack! xx

  8. Thanks Christina. The chair wasn't in fact from Ikeasville, it was from some office equipment company oop North, but via the ruddy internet. God knows if they'll sort it out with good grace. I get panic attacks in Ikea but I am still strangely fascinated by it, occasionally.

  9. I think it may be time to send the language to the lower deck.

  10. Hi Home, nice to see you! Are you serious? ouch.

  11. Perhaps I misstated the terms: swear like hell; it really does help.

  12. Ah, a woman after my own heart. You always have been! x


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