Monday 8 March 2010

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black: I trash the Oscar Frocks

I can't find out where Nicole Richie (who's she?) got this dress.  I think that might be because it came from the Carpet Warehouse.  The back is daring and shows off her delicate tattoos but that gives her limited options for posing successfully.



Silver's always a tricky number in my experience.  How did YSL make lovely Kate Winslet look as if she designed this at evening class?




Ouch.  Did Mariah Carey borrow this off a police woman?  I thought Valentino was a bit suspect since the maestro retired. Tits or thighs, Mariah.  Not both.



New textile technology and a milk jug design by Armani doesn' t do Jennifer Lopez any favours.  How did she pour herself into this?




Kathryn Bigelow is a formidable woman but this reminds me of the sort of surprise you get when your English teacher turns up at the school dance.  Satin panels stretched over the strongest tummy always pucker and crease and mushroom or is it gunmetal?  whatever.. it's so dull. By Marchesa. 




Am I missing something here?  I love Chanel normally.  It's a jury rig and that seam down the front is annoying.  Sarah J -P looking for Sex at the Oscars?


Chanel again on Diane Kruger.  Make up your mind, Mr. Lagerfeld.  I'm afraid this is another of those dresses that teenagers draw with felt pens on the back of their exercise books.


     
                                                
      

                                                   
A beautiful woman, Vera Farmiga,  turned into a raspberry fool.  I know that's cruel but this number is revolting.  Could it be improved without the matte side panel?


This Dior dress worn by Charlize Theron got the thumbs down from The Guardian website where I found these pictures, but the more I look at it the more I love it.  It is fabulous duchesse satin (cf. the quality of Bigelow's) and a sublime combination of colours.  The train gives it real Hollywood glamour and the cheeky roses are sweet. It's the most successful of all the risk-takers.

14 comments:

  1. Right in line with you Ms Divine-except for that Chanel Diane Krueger wore-It was so My Fair Lady at Ascot I could not resist it. All in all relatively lack luster- I loved the Dior dress too, cheeky and ChicY. xo-gt

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  2. I know, I know quel kill-joy about the Chanel! Clearly you don't think it's a mess! I get the Ascot reference though.

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  3. I have to agree with you on most of them. However, I did like the Sarah Jessica Parker gown and while I love the silhoutte of Charlize Theron's Dior, the panels (?) over her..um...well cleavage was VERY distracting and very odd. It's like -come here and stare at my psychodelic boobs please!

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  4. AD- and what's wrong with that? ! Yes that's my reservation too: from front on those roses look like binoculars AND stripper's accoutrements.

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  5. If J-Lo is done with that blanket, I've got to use it to move a refrigerator.

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  6. All right, Ms Revolutionary, do one now about the men's suits. The undertaker look with the long black tie rather than a bow, is thought to be quite stylish in some quarters, I hear. As to the black shirt et al, don't get me started.

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  7. Rosie, I have been thinking the Dior is very Surrealist, no?

    & Rurritable-they probably have that l'il number down at Schwell's if you need it right quick!

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  8. Blue, there's nothing revolutionary about moi, darling. I've always been a complete bitch. I'll leave the men to you. Oh go on.

    la - yes surrealist. It had to be something intelligent like that!

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  9. Love the way you can trounce a multi-thousand down gown in one short sentence - I didn't expect anything less! You can check out 44 of the best and worst (generally worst this year) at style.com
    x

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  10. Bravo to you. Those were some of the WORST dresses compounded by the commentators trying to explain why they were fashionable! I wish I had watched the Oscars with You!!

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  11. Ah Lucinda, someone who sympathises with my jaundiced view of the dresses. I would love to have watched them with YOU!

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  12. This whole Oscar red carpet stuff makes me cranky, but I always love your sass. Bitch is high praise in my world (over 40 years ago, my college roommate and I decided that was the ultimate compliment for each other). So nice to see you are one of us!

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  13. Home, Lucinda - we could have the Bitches of Eastwick video conferencing for the next red carpet number!

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